Tag Archives: funny

8 reasons why I shouldn’t be Freshly Pressed

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Freshly Pressed

Freshly Pressed. I am obviously not one of the best of those 478,593 bloggers.

Everyone on WordPress.com wants to be Freshly Pressed. It’s all about the page views, right? Well, as much as I’d like to be on the front page of WordPress.com, a website with more hits than the number of people at every McDonalds in the world combined, I really shouldn’t be on there. My blog sucks. My writing sucks. I suck.So without further ado, (wait…that line is overused. Darn it! Now I certainly won’t get Freshly Pressed!) let’s start with my list.

  1. What would I do with all the new readers? I mean, my blog is a waste of Internet space. It is equivalent to those all those stupid Geocities sites back in the 90′s. (Auto-playing music!) Plus, it’s not like I blog that often, so all those visitors would never come back because of the low update rate.
  2. This blog is about my life. My life is not all that terribly interesting, when you think about the fact that there are 7 BILLION PEOPLE ON EARTH. People would get bored of reading my rants on how I have to face morons everyday, and how I deal with them. Right?
  3. My website’s design is bland. There no color on here! Certain people might be turned off by the fact that you are greeted with a grey background, and that there are few pictures to be found. (There is a reason for that. It’s right over here.)
  4. To add on to the fact that my blog is not very interesting: my daily hit count is very low. Let me go check the stats page to tell you the exact average…wait…oh here! 34 per day. Brilliant. (Maybe getting Freshly Pressed will bump that average up?)
  5. I’m a teenager. Everyone hates teenagers except teenagers. Well, we hate each other, I guess.
  6. I don’t use good tags. I don’t used enough tags either (I think). Maybe I should go tag crazy? Let’s start tagging everything three times, once with all caps, once with a lowercase, and once in 1337.
  7. This list doesn’t make any sense now that I am reviewing it. (Darn, no Freshly Pressed?)
  8. Screw it. I know I want to be on Freshly Pressed.

It’s obvious I ran out of ideas to put down at number 6, but it’s because I really, really, really want to get those readers from Freshly Pressed.

Disney lied to me. Dreams don’t come true.(But WordPress, if you want to make my day and prove Disney right, go ahead…)