Category Archives: Funny

Color, colour, color, colour

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I was chatting with my friend, and she typed “colourful.” I accidentally corrected her, because I’m American and I spell it “colorful.” My brain automatically decided to type out a correction.

She then said this:

all these years typing colour…[the computers] erase it and turn it into color

Can you watch videos and play games at the same time?

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My sister got a computer monitor recently, and asked me how she could get the extended desktop setup I have with my laptop.

  • Sister: I want that slide thingy you have on your computer! (referring to how you can move windows back and forth between monitors)
  • Me: Why do you need it? You don’t do much on the computer anyway.
  • Sister: So I can watch videos and play games at the same time!
  • Me: Wait, you can play computer games and watch movies at the same time?
  • Sister: I do that ALL the time! It’s so annoying to switch tabs!
  • Me: …

“You gave it away.”

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One day, I was sitting on the couch with my dad. He has one of these:

Anywhere MX Mouse, photo courtesy of Logitech.com

My dad's computer mouse, photo from Logitech.com

Anyway, a while ago, we had about three or four of these things, one of which was mine. My dad noticed that I didn’t use one anymore, and so followed the exchange of words below (or something close to it, because I don’t remember the exact words). Keep in mind that my dad was using his computer.

  • Dad: Hey, what happened to your black mouse?
  • Me: You gave it away to your friend.
  • Dad: Yeah, but then I gave you another one.
  • Me: You gave it away too.
  • Dad: Didn’t I give you another one again?
  • Me: You’re using it. *internal facepalm*
  • Dad: Oh, haha.

Let’s start off with a bad breakfast buffet story

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Hey kids! You know what the worst part of Noah’s Ark was for me, and will be for you if you decide to go and stay the night too?

The breakfast buffet.

My dad and I woke up and found ourselves still at Noah’s Ark. My mom and sister were still sleeping, but I was hungry, so we decided to grab some breakfast. When we dragged ourselves over to the elevator, and got down to the restaurant’s floor, we discovered how badly my dear father had been ripped off. (I say “my dear father”, because I didn’t pay. HAHA!)

At Noah’s Ark, breakfast is from 8-10AM, and it consists of wet scrambled eggs (classical Hong Kong-style), cardboard bacon, noodles, coffee, tea, and toast. I can’t describe what the noodles were like, because they looked disgusting at first glance already, so we didn’t touch them. The coffee was bad, according to my dad, and he got some tea instead. The tea sucked too. Poor dad.

About the toast, I think I should just quote my dad: “You can’t eff up toast, right?”

Luckily, we beat a church group to breakfast, so we didn’t have to fight with them over the small selection of items. I spotted several members of the group with mountains of the noodles and bacon on their plates, and wished them good luck. During their mealtime prayers, my dad whispered in my ear, “They’re saying, dear god, help me get through this meal.”

 

8 reasons why I shouldn’t be Freshly Pressed

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Freshly Pressed

Freshly Pressed. I am obviously not one of the best of those 478,593 bloggers.

Everyone on WordPress.com wants to be Freshly Pressed. It’s all about the page views, right? Well, as much as I’d like to be on the front page of WordPress.com, a website with more hits than the number of people at every McDonalds in the world combined, I really shouldn’t be on there. My blog sucks. My writing sucks. I suck.So without further ado, (wait…that line is overused. Darn it! Now I certainly won’t get Freshly Pressed!) let’s start with my list.

  1. What would I do with all the new readers? I mean, my blog is a waste of Internet space. It is equivalent to those all those stupid Geocities sites back in the 90′s. (Auto-playing music!) Plus, it’s not like I blog that often, so all those visitors would never come back because of the low update rate.
  2. This blog is about my life. My life is not all that terribly interesting, when you think about the fact that there are 7 BILLION PEOPLE ON EARTH. People would get bored of reading my rants on how I have to face morons everyday, and how I deal with them. Right?
  3. My website’s design is bland. There no color on here! Certain people might be turned off by the fact that you are greeted with a grey background, and that there are few pictures to be found. (There is a reason for that. It’s right over here.)
  4. To add on to the fact that my blog is not very interesting: my daily hit count is very low. Let me go check the stats page to tell you the exact average…wait…oh here! 34 per day. Brilliant. (Maybe getting Freshly Pressed will bump that average up?)
  5. I’m a teenager. Everyone hates teenagers except teenagers. Well, we hate each other, I guess.
  6. I don’t use good tags. I don’t used enough tags either (I think). Maybe I should go tag crazy? Let’s start tagging everything three times, once with all caps, once with a lowercase, and once in 1337.
  7. This list doesn’t make any sense now that I am reviewing it. (Darn, no Freshly Pressed?)
  8. Screw it. I know I want to be on Freshly Pressed.

It’s obvious I ran out of ideas to put down at number 6, but it’s because I really, really, really want to get those readers from Freshly Pressed.

Disney lied to me. Dreams don’t come true.(But WordPress, if you want to make my day and prove Disney right, go ahead…)