When you feel like the world is against you,
The people oppress you,
The voices of justice will never hear you.
When you’re hiding,
Deciding,
What the next step to take is,
Remember that I told you who cares what they all say,
Yes, I know that’s just another cliche.
But seriously if you need to take it from someone
Take it from me
Because I’ve been there.
Trust me, I know it’s not a walk in the park.
It feels like you’re walking straight into the dark.
It feels like you’ve always been missing the mark.
I’ve been there.
It seems like a lot to bear,
But I survived and I’m standing here.
I’ve met the police a few times,
Even though I had done no crimes.
It’s in the past now but sometimes,
I flashback to those days.
And I wish someone would take them away,
Throw them into the bay.
Things I don’t want to remember.
I’ve heard the other kids laugh at me.
They wouldn’t ever let me be.
My friends, they “grew up.”
I stuck with the old games and didn’t even realize,
Everyone was drifting away,
And no one understood, not even to this day.
I shouted for someone to save me.
They told me to wait it out.
It was just a phase.
Kids being kids,
It was my fault.
“Stop being different.”
So to get their attention I started some fights,
Called 911 twice,
Sent to professionals for advice.
And the other kids never left me alone.
But the teachers,
my parents,
the professionals,
all the ones who said they were “help.”
They did.
They left me alone.
One day, my mom was sleeping,
And my dad was at work,
I don’t remember about my sister,
But hell I might have been suspended that day.
I saw the knife.
I grabbed the knife.
Knife touched skin.
Knife pierced skin.
I realized before it was too late,
I could set myself straight.
I had things to do,
To see,
To be.
I didn’t commit suicide.
I didn’t attempt it.
I cut the arm instead of the wrist.
That’s just one part.
My dad lost his job to layoffs a few times,
We started bleeding nickels, pennies, and dimes.
He had a quarter in his palm and asked,
“Heads or tails?”
I picked heads.
We packed our bags and flew to Hong Kong,
Where no one ever knew what had went wrong.
Where I vowed I would stay strong.
Take my experiences and start over.
Clean slate.
We’re still having those money issues.
But now I’ve got people to help.
Instead of facing the dark alone,
And walking by myself into the unknown,
I have friends who are here for the journey.
And I still remember those memories of the past.
But the past is the past and I like to move fast.
It’s fine to feel bad if you’re feeling bad.
Sad if you’re feeling sad.
But pick yourself up.
Let your friends be friends.
Lend a hand and take a hand.
Someday, I’ll be free.
